Monday, January 23, 2017

~Blog Tour & Excerpt~ If I were Beautiful


If I Were Beautiful
Devon Hartford
(If I Were…, #1)
Publication date: January 23rd 2017
Genres: Contemporary, New Adult, Romance
Is life better when you’re beautiful?
Jane Johnson has tried every beauty tip and trick known to woman, but none of them have ever made men notice her.
Until now.
Finally, something is working. She barely recognizes herself in the mirror. Is it her new haircut? Two years of yoga class? Her new eyebrow tweeze? Or is it all that nasty wheat grass juice her sister insisted she drink finally working some kind of magic? Whatever it is, something is transforming Jane from plain to downright beautiful.
For the first time in her life, men are noticing her.
Constantly.
Jane is getting so much attention from men she doesn’t know what to do with it.
Before her inexplicable transformation, she couldn’t get a date to save her life. Now she has a date every night of the week. Gorgeous eligible men are throwing themselves at her. They’re even fighting over her. Actual fist fights to win her affection.
It all seems too good to be true.
The only question on Jane’s mind is whether or not her newfound beauty is going to last or if it’s some cruel trick of fate that will fade away as quickly as it appeared.
Because everybody knows, when something seems too good to be true, it probably is.
***If I Were Beautiful is a saucy romance with a mystical twist that will leave you breathless to find out what happens next. This is book one of a three book series. Book two will release April 2017, Book three, July 2017 (or sooner).


Excerpt

“You are a shameless con artist, Chelsea,” I hissed in my sister’s ear.
“Relax, Jane. It’s not like I took you to a strip club.”
“I would rather do that than this,” I grumbled, looking around the crowded bar section of ReaXion, a trendy eatery in the heart of Melrose. “I don’t know how you ever thought speed dating would be a good idea.”
Chelsea and I sat side by side at a row of tables along the wall with the other women daters. The men milled about in the bar section, awaiting the first bell and the first round of speed dates, which was two minutes away according to the big digital timer at the front of the room. Personally, I was two seconds away from dying of a panic attack.
I hated dating.
Surprised, Chelsea said, “Are you serious about the strip club? Because if you are, we can leave right now. Hunk-O-Mania is like five minutes from here.” Chelsea had been boy crazy since she was five and hadn’t let up for the last twenty-six years, but I never thought she’d pick a strip joint fantasy over a real date, no matter how speedy. She was just as single as I was. Unlike me, she was great at dating. It was one of her favorite things. Not mine. Men in general were a basic frustration in my life.
“Hunk-O-Mania?” I scowled. “Did you just make that up?”
“No. It’s a real place.”
“That you’ve been to a thousand times,” I joked.
“Once,” she smirked. “I’ve only been to Hunk-O-Mania once, and that was in college. But if you want, we’ll go the next time I’m in town.” Chelsea lived in San Francisco and was flying out tomorrow morning, but she’d be back soon. She flew down to Los Angeles for work on a monthly basis and always stayed at my apartment when she did.
“Can we go now?” I groaned.
“To where? Hunk-O-Mania?”
“No. Any place except here.”
“The guys at Hunk-O-Mania are hot, Jane.”
“How hot?” I wasn’t even interested. I was just looking for an excuse to leave.
“Channing Tatum hot. Matt Bomer hot. Joe Manganiello hot. Alex Pettyfer—”
“Chelz, you’re listing the cast of Magic Mike. I guarantee you, those guys don’t work at a place called Hunk-O-Mania. The guys who work there probably look like Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin from Family Guy. Beer guts galore and receding or nonexistent hairlines.”
“They don’t look like fat cartoon men,” she snickered and held up her iPhone, showing me a photo of a row of beefy shirtless guys with rock hard chests and washboard abs posing on a stage.
“See?” I giggled. “Homer Simpson. That one guy in the middle with the cleft chin looks exactly like Glenn Quagmire.”
“Yeah, right. We’ll go after speed dating.”
“Chelz! I’m not going to Hunk-O—”
The first bell rang and two dozen men made their way to the tables.


Author Bio:
Devon Hartford is a dude who writes romantic comedies because he likes to laugh as much as he likes to love.
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